Mother Toppers, Quotes and more


Page Toppers

  • #1 Mom
  • Because I Said So
  • Because I’m the Mom, That’s Why
  • Blame it on Mama
  • Call Your Mother. She Worries.
  • Caution, Mom is Stressed
  • Every Mother is a Working Mother
  • Mama Don’t Allow
  • Mama Don’t Allow No Pouting Here
  • MOM – Maker of Miracles
  • Moms are the Treasures of the World
  • Mom’s Day Off
  • Mom’s the Word
  • Mommie Dearest
  • The Momster
  • Mother is Another Word for Love
  • Mother Knows Best
  • Motherhood
  • Mothers Make the World Go Round
  • Mum’s the Word
  • My Greatest Blessings Call Me Mommy
  • No One Hugs Like Mom!
  • Nobody Cares Like a Mom
  • Nobody Does it Better
  • Super Mom
  • This is What a Great Mom Looks Like:

Quotes

  • All mother’s are working mothers.
  • As a mother my job is to take care of the possible and trust God with the impossible. (RuthBellGraham)
  • Because I’m the Mom; that’s why!
  • Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. (Mildred B. Vermont)
  • Being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had…and dealing with fears you didn’t know existed. (Linda Wooten)
  • Being a stay-at-home mom can be really frustrating, especially when others say you don’t work!
  • By the time a woman realizes that maybe her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks everything she does is wrong.
  • Don’t blame working mothers for problem kids. We have to work!
    What do you want me to be–barefoot and pregnant…like my daughter?
  • Every mother knows when children say they are doing nothing, they are into mischief.
  • Father knows best, but Mom knows better!
  • Flowers have the sun, children have their mothers.
  • Good mothers, like bad ones, sometimes holler and spank, but the children know the difference.
  • Home is where a mother’s love surrounds with tender care.
  • I knew I had relinquished even my subconscious to motherhood when I found myself tying double knots in my own shoelaces.
  • M is for MOM, not Maid!
  • Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my Mother after all.
  • Mom stands for Mother; NOT Made-Of-Money!
  • Most mothers hate four letter words,
    especially: cook, wash, iron and dust!
  • Mother and Love: different only in name, the miracles they work are one and the same.
  • A mother is a rock in the midst of chaos.
  • A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. (TennevaJordan)
  • Mother–a shoulder to cry on, a smile to count on, a love to live on.
  • A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
  • Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. (Marion C. Garretty)
  • The mother of three notoriously unruly youngsters was asked whether or not she’d have children if had it to do over again. “Sure,” she replied. “But not the same ones.
  • A mother understands what a child does not say. (Jewish proverb)
  • A mother understands when no one else can!
  • Motherhood: If it were going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor. (Barbara Johnson)
  • Motherhood is full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually they move out.
  • Motherhood is not for wimps!
  • Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own. (Aristotle)
  • Mothers are not paid for their work because it is priceless!
  • Mother’s are people who get up in the morning before they smell the bacon frying.
  • A mother’s heart is as big as the world.
  • A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path. (Agatha Christie)
  • A mother’s love is like an ever-burning candle, a warm bright ray, whose light is always there to help along the way.
  • A mother’s love is the heart of the home.
  • A mother’s love never ages.
  • Mothers of teenagers know why animals eat their young.
  • My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. (Mark Twain)
  • An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. (Spanish Proverb)
  • When a mother hasn’t enough will power to discipline her children, she calls the weakness child psychology.
  • Who ran to help me when I fell, and would some pretty story tell or kiss the place and make it well, my mother.
  • Working mothers work wonders!
  • You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool MOM!
  • “From the time she was born, until she was fifteen, I didn’t know where I left off and she began. We were joined at the hip or the heart or the brain.” – Lee Grant
  • “What do girls do who haven’t any mothers to help them through their troubles?” – Louisa May Alcott
  • “Mothers of daughters are daughters of mothers and have remained so, in circles joined to circles, since time began.” – Signe Hammer
  • “She’s my teacher, my advisor, my greatest inspiration.” – Whitney Houston
  • “God intended motherhood to be a relay race. Each generation would pass the baton on to the next. ” – Mary Pride
  • “A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary.” – Dorothy Canfield

I Loved You Enough To…

(by Erma Bombeck)
We all know that being a Mom is the hardest, most rewarding job on the face of this Earth.
“You don’t love me!”
How many times have your kids laid that one on you? And how many times have you, as a parent, resisted the urge to tell them how much? Someday, when my children are old enough to understand the logic that motivates a mother, I’ll tell them:

  • I loved you enough to bug you about where you were going, with whom and what time you would get home.
  • I loved you enough to insist you buy a bike with your own money, which we could afford, and you couldn’t.
  • I loved you enough to be silent and let you discover your hand picked friend was a creep.
  • I loved you enough to stand over you for two hours while you cleaned your bedroom, a job that would have taken me fifteen minutes.
  • I loved you enough to say, “Yes, you can go to Disney World on Mother’s Day.”
  • I loved you enough to let you see anger, disappointment, disgust, and tears in my eyes.
  • I loved you enough not to make excuses for your lack of respect or your bad manners.
  • I loved you enough to admit that I was wrong and ask for your forgiveness.
  • I loved you enough to ignore “what every other mother” did or said.
  • I loved you enough to let you stumble, fall, hurt, and fail.
  • I loved you enough to let you assume the responsibility for your own actions, at six, ten, or sixteen.
  • I loved you enough to figure you would lie about the party being chaperoned, but forgave you for it…after discovering I was right.
  • I loved you enough to shove you off my lap, let go of your hand, be mute to your pleas and insensitive to your demands…so that you had to stand alone.
  • I loved you enough to accept you for what you are, and not what I wanted you to be.
  • But most of all, I loved you enough to say no when you hated me for it. That was the hardest part of all.
  • “Mother: the most beautiful word on the lips of mankind.” – Kahlil Gibran
  • “A daughter is a mother’s gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters’ role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships.” – Victoria Secunda

Real Mothers

Real Mothers don’t eat quiche; they don’t have time to make it.
Real Mothers know that their kitchen utensils are probably in the sandbox.
Real Mothers often have sticky floors, filthy ovens and happy kids.
Real Mothers know that dried play dough doesn’t come out of shag carpet.
Real Mothers don’t want to know what the vacuum just sucked up.
Real Mothers sometimes ask “why me?” and get their answer when a little voice says, “because I love you best.”
Real Mothers know that a child’s growth is not measured by height or years or grade
It is marked by the progression of Mama to Mommy to Mom.


Somebody Said

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby…
Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, “Normal,” is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct . . .
Somebody never took a three- year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring . . .
Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a ‘good’ mother, your child will ‘turn out good’ . . .
Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said “good” mothers never raise their voices . . .
Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother.
Somebody never helped a fourth grader with her math.

Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first . . .
Somebody doesn’t have five children.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to her child-rearing questions in the books . . .
Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose or in his ears.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery . . .
Somebody never watched her ‘baby’ get on the bus for the first day of kindergarten–or on a plane headed for boot camp.

Somebody said a mother can do her job with her eyes closed and one hand tied behind her back . . .
Somebody never organized four giggling Brownies to sell cookies.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married . . .
Somebody doesn’t know that marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home . . .
Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her . . .
Somebody isn’t a mother.


Business Cards

If you have a computer program that will make business cards you can make some really cute ones for your “job” as a homemaker or SAHM.
At the top put “Every mother is a working mother” (or other motto of your choice).
In the center put your name in large letters.
Under that put “Homemaker, Licensed” or “Stay-at-home Mom, licensed”.
In the lower left corner put your address, phone and/or email address.
In the lower right put “10 (or appropriate number) years of experience turning out quality products.”


Not Just a Housewife

A few months ago, when I was picking up the children at school, another mother I knew well, rushed up to me. Emily was fuming with indignation.
“Do you know what you and I are?” she demanded.
Before I could answer–and I didn’t really have one handy–she blurted out the reason for her question. It seemed she had just returned from renewing her driver’s license at the County Clerk’s office. Asked by the woman recorder to state her “occupation,” Emily had hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself.
“What I mean is,” explained the recorder, “Do you have a job, or are you just a . . . ”
“Of course I have a job,” snapped Emily. “I’m a mother.”
“We don’t list “mother” as an occupation . . .”housewife” covers it,” said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high-sounding title, like “Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.”
“And what is your occupation?” she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out. “I’m . . . a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”
The clerk paused, ballpoint pen frozen in mid-air, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pompous pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?”
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, “I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn’t) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I’m working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to agree?) and I often work fourteen hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers
and the rewards are in satisfaction rather than just money.”
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants–age thirteen, seven, and three. And upstairs, I could hear our new experimental model (six months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt triumphant. I had scored a beat on bureaucracy. And I had gone down on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than “just another . . .”
Home . . . what a glorious career. Especially when there’s a title on the door.


POSITION: Mom, Mother, Mommy, Mommie, Ma, MOM!

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Long-term team players needed for challenging permanent work in an often-chaotic environment. Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in faraway cities. Travel expenses not reimbursed. Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES:

For the rest of your life. Must provide on-the-site training in basic life skills, such as nose blowing.  Must have strong skills in negotiating, conflict resolution and crisis management.  Ability to suture flesh wounds a plus.  Must be able to think out of the box but not lose track of the box, because you most likely will need it for a school project. Must reconcile petty cash disbursements and be proficient in managing budgets and resources fairly, unless you want to hear, “He got more than me!” for the rest of your life.

Also, must be able to drive motor vehicles safely under loud and adverse conditions while simultaneously practicing above-mentioned skills in conflict resolution.  Must be able to choose your battles and stick to your guns.  Must be able to withstand criticism, such as “You don’t know anything.”

Must be willing to be hated at least temporarily, until someone needs $5 to go skating.  Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.

Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 MPH in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.  Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.

Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.  Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.  Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.  Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys and battery operated devices.

Also, must have a highly energetic entrepreneurial spirit, because fund-raiser will be your middle name.  Must have a diverse knowledge base, so as to answer questions such as “What makes the wind move?” or “Why can’t they just go in and shoot Sadism Hussein?” on the fly. Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.  Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.

Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT AND PROMOTION:
Virtually none. Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE:
None required, unfortunately. On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION:
You pay them, offering frequent raises and bonuses. A balloon payment is due when they turn eighteen because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent. When you die, you give them whatever is left. The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS:
While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered, job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth and free hugs for life if you play your cards right.


Songs about Mothers

  • Are We There yet, Momma? – Walter Hyatt (1993)
  • At My Front Door (Crazy Little Mama) – The El Dorados (1955)
  • Blame it on Mama – The Jenkins (2004)
  • Blues in the Night (My Mama Done Told Me) – Shirley Bassey (1957)
  • Come on, Little Mama – Ray Harris (1956)
  • Crazy Little Mama at My Front Door – Pleasant Valley Boys (1977)
  • Daddy’s Home, But Mama’s Gone – The Monotones (1960)
  • Did He Call Today, Mama? – Jackie DeShannon (1963)
  • Does Anybody Know Why Ana Maria’s Mama is Crying – James Talley (1992)
  • Does Your Mama Know about Me? – Bobby Taylor and the Vancouvers (1968)
  • Don’t Dance on Mama’s Rug – Eddie Hodges (1959)
  • Don’t Step on Mother’s Roses – Johnny Cash (1959)
  • Don’t Tell Your Mama Where You’ve Been – Eddie Floyd (1969)
  • Fore She Was Mama – Clay Walker (2006)
  • Heart-Breaking Mama – Skeets McDonald (1956)
  • Her Momma Doesn’t Think it’s Right – Boyd Bennett (1958)
  • Her Mother’s Wedding Dress – Groovey Joe Poovey (1963)
  • Hey Lawdy, Mama – Steppenwolf (1970)
  • Hey, Leroy, Your Mama’s Callin’ You – Jimmy Castor (1967)
  • Hey Mama – Sonny Fisher (1955)
  • Hey Mama, You’ve Been on My Mind – The Caravelles (1966)
  • Hip-Shakin’ Mama – Jackie Lee Cochran (1956)
  • Hot Mama – Trace Adkins (2004)
  • Hot Rod Mama – Ramblin’ Jimmie Dolan (1952)
  • I Have No Mother Now – Down South (2007)
  • I Saw Mommie Kissing Santa Claus – Lynn Anderson (1971)
  • I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus – Jimmy Boyd (1952)
  • I’m Gonna Tell Your Mother – Jimmy McCracklin (1962)
  • I’m the One Mama Warned You About – Mickey Gilley (1985)
  • I’m the Only Hell My Mama Ever Raised – Johnny Paycheck (1977)
  • If Your Mother Only Knew – Smokey Robinson and the Miracles (1962)
  • Jesus and Mama – Confederate Railroad (1992)
  • Juke Box Mama – Link Wray and the Raymen (1971)
  • Lady Luck and Mother Nature – Roy Head (1976)
  • Let Old Mother Nature Have Her Way – Carl Smith (1951)
  • Lunch With Mother Goose – John Zacherle (1958)
  • Mama Can’t Buy You Love – Elton John (1979)
  • Mama Didn’t Know – Major Lance (1963)
  • Mama Doll -LawtonWilliams (1960)
  • Mama Don’t Allow – The Clinch Mountain Boys (1992)
  • Mama Don’t Allow No Music Played in Here – Rooftop Singers (1963)
  • Mama Don’t Allow No Parkin’ – Brownsville Station (1974)
  • Mama, Doncha Think I Know – Jackie Lee Cochran (1957)
  • Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean – Ruth Brown (1953)
  • Mama, He’s Crazy – The Judds (1984)
  • Mama, I Won’t Be Wearing a Ring – Peggy Little (1970)
  • Mama Lou – Penny DeHaven (1969)
  • Mama Rosa – Renato Carosone (1956)
  • Mama, She’s Lazy – Pinkard and Bowden (1984)
  • Mama Spank – Liz Anderson (1967)
  • Mama Told Me Not to Come – Three Dog Night (1970)
  • Mama, What Does Cheatin’ Mean – Carroll Baker (1981)
  • Mama’s Gone Goodbye – Art Fell and David Cross (2008)
  • Mama’s Never Seen Those Eyes – The Forester Sisters (1986)
  • Mamas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Cowboys – Gibson/Miller Band (1994)
  • Man That Turned My Mama on, The – Tanya Tucker (1974)
  • Mean Mama Blues – Ernest Tubb (1942)
  • Mom and Dad’s Waltz – Patti Page (1961)
  • Momma Knows the Highway – Hal Ketchum (1993)
  • Mommy for a Day – Kitty Wells (1959)
  • Mother and ChildReunion- Paul Simon (1972)
  • Mother for My Children, A – The Whispers (1974)
  • Mother Goose – Jethro Tull (1971)
  • Mother Maybelle – Cecil Null (1964)
  • Mother Nature – Floyd Robinson (1961)
  • Mother Nature’s Wine – Sugarloaf (1971)
  • Motherhood – The Tommy Dorsey Orchestra (1966)
  • Motherless Child – Richie Havens (1969)
  • Motorcycle Mama – Neil Young (1978)
  • Mountain Mama – John Van Horn (1972)
  • Mr. Mom – Lonestar (2004)
  • Music Makin’ Mama fromMemphis- Hank Snow (1952)
  • My Mama Don’t Like Him – The Raindrops (1965)
  • My Mother’s Other Son – Tommy Cash and Tommy Jennings (1983)
  • My Mother’s Pearls – Don Cornell (1952)
  • My Mother’s Wedding Ring – Russ Hamilton (1960)
  • My Square-Dancin’ Mama, She Done Learned to Rock ‘n’ Roll – Bob Gallion (1956)
  • Never Tell Your Mother She’s Out of Tune – Jack Bruce (1969)
  • Old Mother Nature – Ned Miller (1957)
  • Only Hell My Mama Raised Was Me – James Gilreath (1966)
  • Papa’s Going Crazy, Mama’s Going Mad – Bob and Randy Atcher (1940)
  • Pistol-Packin’ Mama – The Goins Brothers (1995)
  • Place for Mama’s Roses, A – Red Sovine (1978)
  • Roll on, Big Mama – Joe Stampley (1975)
  • Say Mama – Gene Vincent and the Blue Caps (1958)
  • Sylvia’s Mother – Dennis Locorriere (2000)
  • Tell Mama – Etta James (1967)
  • That’s All Right, Mama – Elvis Presley (1954)
  • Up Against the Wall Redneck Mother – Jerry Jeff Walker (1973)
  • What is a Mother’s Love? – Lonnie Glosson and His Band (1947)
  • What’s Your Mama’s Name? – Tanya Tucker (1973)
  • Wiggly Little Mama – The Krazy Kats (1959)
  • You Make Me Want to Be a Mother – Tammy Wynette (1975)
  • You’re Mother Said So – Darrell and the Oxfords (1960)
  • Your Mama Don’t Dance – Loggins and Messina (1972)
  • Your Mama’s Out of Town – The Carter Lewis Southerners (1963)
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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Antone Iyo
    May 18, 2012 @ 11:41:44

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    Reply

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